The Primus theory

As I've mentioned before (sorry for the self-plagirsm and repeating myself. I'm so egotistical that I repeat myself all the time and still like it) I had a cousin who was very fascinated with his "obscure" music taste. When I grew up it was without the internet and in the middle of no where there were no good radio stations. Sadly you were stuck with what Strawberries record store sold and the local pop classic rock station. First world problems aside it was another reason childhood sort of sucked.

My cousin was one of those ironic hipsters who loved to show off his obscure and cool music taste. He also liked to rub in our faces how "with it" he was and stupid we were for :: gasp :: liking more mainstream artists like Kiss, Megadeth, Metallica, The Ramones...etc. Think of Jack Black in High Fidelity combined with the snotty arrogance of a social justice warrior. He was the guy who wore the beret in freshmen English talking about how "deep" the book we were talking about was when in reality, he didn't read it all the way through.

So it was with great enjoyment one day when said to me "My favorite band is a band you've never heard of, Primus." Of course I answered back with the name of their most popular song (thank you MTV. Thank you) and he was crestfallen. I stole his thunder. I upstaged him. I became the one thing I never wanted to become-the music snob with the ironic taste and disdainful glare. But it really felt good.

I created "The Primus theory" after him. The Primus Theory states that the best way to show off your superior music knowledge and show others how hip and obscure your music taste is is to name an obscure band. But if you aren't obscure enough and the other guy starts rattling off songs by them-you will never be able to achieve the dominant position again. There are no second chances here. Once you jump, their better be a safety net or you will die.

Test it out in your private life and let me know how it goes.