Hugh Heffner

Hugh Hefner has passed away, and this time it doesn't look like a hoax.

This post might seem odd, coming from a blog that is at least partially religious in nature. Of course it won't be vulgar, but I do want to talk about him. No apologies, you can read it if you want or not. 

At least partially, I admire him. At one point in his life, he idolized Ayn Rand before he found out she was a :: gasp :: a Barry Goldwater Republican. He also respected Sigmund Freud, another famous mind I greatly admire as well. For obvious reasons, I don't "approve" of everything about his life nor do I agree with everything he did or how he lived his life. But how he recreated himself, his devotion to free speech, his refusal to quit, his business sense-yes, in some ways I still admire him. 

For men my age, before the internet was popular, Hugh Hefner was the introduction we had to sex. I still remember where I was when I saw my first issue. The kid hiding it-and I'm dead serious-hid it behind a picture of a rabbit jogging.  It was incredibly taboo-we knew if we were caught we'd be in serious trouble-but it seems very quaint today. I'm going from memory here, but I believe the pin ups in Playboy were just nude, they weren't engaged in sexual acts. Playboy wasn't Penthouse or Hustler-which showed women in much more lewd and disgusting ways. Playboy was rated R, Hustler and Penthouse was rated XXX. 

He seemed very normal. Apparently in some ways he was the idol for men age 18-39. Not just because of he dated attractive women-(trying to keep this PG-13 folks)but because he brought a certain "class" to "pornography". I do not consider Playboy pornography, for the record. 

Hefner seems antiquated in the age of hook ups. and instant gratification. Heff invited women in for a conversation on Picasso, jazz, Nietzsche and sex. It was safer for women to be a Playboy bunny then a Hustler girl-Flynt seemed like a rapist who would use force and Guccione the type who would talk you into bed, make you pay for dinner then cab fare the next day. Hefner was "the type" who you could trust. If you said no, he knew it meant no. 

His first wife cheated on him, and it's widely thought that he never got over it. In fact, you can put on your psychologists hat and say that perhaps this affair caused him to never look at women the same way-maybe he lost trust in fidelity and faithfulness. Perhaps when he slept with each one of his girlfriends he was taking it out on his ex wife. His two divorces might imply that he has some issues with trust. 

 His life also seems incredibly shallow. I feel sorry for him, not envious. Sex with thousands of partners-and lets face it-he had thousands of them-doesn't seem as meaningful a stable relationship.  He's been left behind by the movement he started. 

His last few years he's been suffering with OCD and has become a bit of a recluse. Several Playboy bunnies have talked about his habits and personality and it has been far from flattering. The Mansion has gone into great decay and much like the man who lived there, it seems like it belongs in a different era. Hugh Heffner has become Howard Hughes. 

I didn't always live an LDS approved lifestyle so I'm not holding myself up as the model of chastity and decent behavior. Just some thoughts on the passing of a man who, like it or not, was a front runner in the sexual revolution but now seems to be a victim of it. 

RIP.