Being "unsupportive"

Many people mistake "being supportive" with "telling people exactly what they want to hear". Let's be honest upfront-no one wants to hear things that might make them uncomfortable. When we paint a picture or write a song than ask for someones opinion on it, most of us want reassurance, not a critique on how bad it is.

It's the same for personal advice. You meet a great girl/guy, someone you are really interested in. After introducing them to all your friends they pull you aside and talk about how terrible the person is.That they are rude, obnoxious, sneering and cruel. You are stunned! After all, you are in love with the person and wanted reassurance instead of the honest truth. You accuse them of being "unsupportive" of your hopes, dreams and desires.

In reality, they might be acting based in the deepest love and affection for you.  Like the modern psychologists say, this could be all about you. It's so hard to be able to put our own biases and emotions aside and accept honest feedback ourselves. It's not a strength of me either, for sure. If we listen to others our life will be much easier than if we think we can do it all on our own.

This post is inspired by a guilty pleasure of mine, 90 Day Fiancee. One guy getting married was going on wife number four. His best friend (surprise!) made it clear to him before the wedding that he thought it wasn't a good idea. Needless to say, Mr. Three-divorces-and-I've-apparently-learned-nothing didn't listen to his friend and accused him of acting like a jackass or being unsupportive.

Album of the weekend

Megadeth-The System has Failed

The comeback album for Megadeth after some bitter failures in the late 90's, the System Has Failed is a classic return to form for one of the greatest metal bands of all time. Megadeth relies on deeply political and theological lyrics combined with classic thrash metal-and this album provides both. To me, it's the ultimate middle finger to the political establishment of all parties and a reminder that once again Dave Mustaine is truly a musical and lyrical genius. 

Shriners hospital

Growing up Catholic the Shriners and Masons were always a no-go in discussions. No, this isn't to bash Catholics, it's just how it was growing up.Given that the Shriners/Masons are excommunicated from the Catholic church I understand why my Catholic school teachers 1) didn't know anything about them and 2) didn't like them much. I asked my 12th grade theology teacher why in the world the church would have anything against a group of harmless old man who do tremendous good in the world for children? She babbled about the Masons being "demonic" and how they were excommunicated, etc. I found it amusing and pitiful. (Not the catholic church, her response to my question)

I'm not a Shriner/Mason and I am no longer Catholic, but I have family that is involved in the Masons. They are dying off, like all fraternal orders. Is it sad? I guess so, but I don't care enough to get involved and I'm not the joining type, so I imagine that I'll never join any of those groups. I hope and pray that the hospitals don't close. For poor families suffering from burns and orthopedic injuries they are often times the last option available.

Boycotts

Boycotts are largely about the people protesting, not the company/organization being boycotted. With few exceptions (Like the boycotts Martin Luther King organized) they are generally done the same way a child does a tantrum. You can stomp your feet, hold your breath till you pass out, jump up and down, and the organization you are boycotting will, nine times out of ten, shrug their shoulders and keep on ticking.

Disney comes to mind. In their movie "Beauty and the Beast" they had a gay character. Some members of the extreme right threatened a boycott and it worked so well that the movie grossed over 300 million dollars. When the left boycotts the products that Rush Limbaugh advertises, his program yawns-if they drop sponsorship someone else will jump at the opportunity to reach his countless listeners.

Boycotts are usually organized by those who grossly over estimate their own worth. They also want to feel moral and self righteous. Eric Hoffer wrote a wonderful book called "The True Believer". It's a book that should be read by everyone-his originality and brilliance is much needed in this world. The book is about the psychology of people who join all sorts of mass movements, like boycotts and revolutions. He was a prophet but like all prophets religious or not, they get basically ignored in their own time.

Standing up for what you believe

Standing up for what you believe isn't always noble, and it's not always the right thing to do. In fact, much like another annoying as hell cliche, "Speaking truth to power" the saying is incredibly misunderstood and often times flat out wrong.

Nazis stood up for what they believe, and so do racists like the KKK and skinheads. So does the Westboro Baptist "Church". They stand up for what they believe.  No one in their right mind would ever claim that those groups are noble. If you think they are noble, you need to seriously reevaluate your life.

"Standing up for what you believe" is like saying "Follow your dreams!" it has absolutely no chance of working in reality. In the real world you can't always follow your dreams because often times your dreams are wrong and have no chance of working. I'd love to be able to play the guitar like Dave Mustaine. That is my dream. It has no chance of working in reality because I lack the natural talent for it. Sometimes you need to follow your talents instead of your dreams. In the real world, standing up for what you believe is only noble if what you believe is noble.

Having a "good heart"

Character shilling in movies is when you hear things about a character that don't really match what your own eyes see in the character. For example, if every character talks about how charming and witty a character is then when you meet him-he's a bore, rude and has the charisma of an angry librarian the characters who told you how wonderful he is are not only wrong, but they engaged in character shilling. Good writers show you the qualities they want their characters to have. Bad writers tell you the qualities the characters have. 

It is sometimes the same way in real life. I've met people who say person X or Y has a "good heart" or a "big heart" then when I meet said person, they turn out to be seriously flawed. It doesn't matter how big your heart is if you walk around hurting people and cause destruction and misery wherever you go. The size of your heart doesn't matter, it's what you do with it.

Intentions are not good enough-in the end it's your actions that matter and that's what people will remember you by. If you really want to show people how big your heart is-prove it with your actions. Motives are irrelevant. 

Scripture Sunday Moroni 8:16

"Perfect love cast out all fear". Another passage from the Book of Mormon that is very popular, this passage reminds us that we should fear God more than man. It's easy to say that of course, but often times in our society, all of us, (myself certainly included) do the opposite. We fear the opinions and judgments of our fellow man more so than we fear those of God. 

What does it mean to fear God more than man? Partially, it means to obey His commands more than those of our neighbors and to place His desires over them as well. This isn't always easy, and again, it's not what I always do either. 

Another report about corporal punishment on kids...

CNN releases another study about the drawbacks of corporal punishment on children.  Before I say anything about this issue I want to remind everyone that no, I don't have children. And I was never spanked as a child. However just because those things are my own life experience doesn't mean I don't have the right to speak on the issue. I certainly do, though you just don't have to listen. Also, this is not a childless person telling you how to raise your kids-I'm not telling you anything and you are, of course, free to do whatever you damn well please.

I'm generally against corporal punishment for your kids. I wouldn't say it's something that you can never use, but to me it's a sign that the parent has lost control over the child. I'm not sure that the occasional spanking can lead to all sorts of deviant behavior in adulthood-no, just because you were spanked as a child doesn't give you the right to engage in anti social behavior, but I am relatively confident that the frequent spankings you received as a child does have a correlation with violent behavior as an adult.  It's just not a good idea.

Album of the weekend

Sweet & Lynch-Only to Rise

An album from the duo of Michael Sweet from Stryper and George Lynch from Dokken, I bought this on a whim while going on a road trip a few days ago. It has a very 1980's rock to it, if that's not your thing than don't waste your 10 dollars on this. The entire album is good though, with only one or two songs that aren't worth the download. 

The song "Rescue Me" has a slight country feel to it, but it's still enjoyable. The ballad, "Me Without You" sounds very retro and a little over produced-it's one of the few duds. "Recover" and "Only to Rise" are two of the stand outs, and the song dedicated to September 9/11, simple called "September" is touching. 

It doesn't sound like Stryper and it doesn't sound like Dokken. It's a good album though.

Exchange student thoughts

For the second time, we hosted a 12 year old boy from China in an exchange program. Two different kids, one was named Frank and the other was named Jason. We had a wonderful time and we signed up to do it next year as well. These kids are incredibly brave. At age 15 (three years older than these kids) I went to summer camp for two weeks, hated every minute of it and left a week into the experience. And that summer camp was only two towns over from where I lived. So no, I couldn't do what these kids do.

You don't have to be perfect to host a family. We have a loud, energetic Dalmatian puppy who is incredibly high maintenance. She requires a lot of attention can sometimes be overwhelming. I think Jason was a little scared of her. Frank, the first one, didn't have to deal with her. My significant other and I are also lazy, obsessed with heavy metal and can't cook anything. So we feed them lots of fast food-which they loved-introduced them to the music of Anvil and played a lot of video games with them.  We did take them to the science museum in Gainesville, a Rays game, the arcade, and an art museum as well. So we let them experience things outside our house.

Let them live their life. Both kids played on their phone. A lot. Sure, it's their generation but I also play on my phone a lot so it's just how the world works. Some families take phones away after a certain time. That's fine, it's their house and their rules-but how else could they speak with their families? Remember the time difference. Taking their phones away at 9 would mean they would have a much harder time talking to their families.

Live your life too. We had friends over, went to tae kwan do, and visited my aunt and grandmother this time around. Jason seemed to like all of it. Last year with Frank, it was our first time hosting so we were a bit more "paranoid" about living our lives. We didn't want Frank to feel overwhelmed so we kept it pretty laid back.

Best Buy isn't selling CD's anymore...

The death of physical music continues with the world becoming digital. Granted, I haven't bought a CD at Best Buy in years-so I'm not really one to talk about the choice Best Buy made to stop selling CDs. Life does continue though and no, this won't be the death of music.

I'm not sure that big time music fans shop at Best Buy or Target for their music. I mostly use the Pledge Music, iTunes-and I do buy physical cd's but almost all are on Amazon now. When I lived up north I'd go to Newbury comics and the last time I was up there and had time to shop there-I was stunned at how little their cd section was.

Offensive Halloween costumes

Like I've mentioned before the Megan Kelly and Roseanne Barr posts, I dislike political correctness as much as the next person and yes, our culture has lost it's sense of humor. Part of being an adult is accepting how reality is and realizing that your opinion on reality is largely if not totally irrelevant. So I get no joy saying this, but it's obvious we need to be very careful about our Halloween costumes.

A good prosecutor can indict a ham sandwich, and someone who is really thin skinned and wants to view themselves as a crusader for the poor and oppressed can find anything offensive. So while choosing something to be for Halloween you need to keep that in mind. Anything in blackface is a terrible idea, and should be avoided like the plague. I don't think it's you a racist but it makes you incredibly naive to how the real world works. Two high school students dressed as the Columbine shooters. Again, in poor taste, but they are kids and don't know any better. Some teachers in Idaho went as the border wall. With teachers they really should know better.

One of the few drawbacks to living in todays society is that our offensive ideas and mistakes get broadcast all over the planet with lightning speed. By dressing in a foolish costume, you are basically assuring yourself of becoming one of those news stories.

Student Loan Debt

Quite simply, you are the problem if you have massive student loan debt and a degree in drama or basketweaving. No one forced you to go to college or to major in truly foolish things, so a large percentage of the blame falls on you.

However, not all the blame.

I also blame "society" (I hate doing that because it strips you of personal accountability) and the colleges themselves. If colleges had integrity, which they don't, they'd inform you that a useless degree is well, useless. Sure, the college experience itself is amazing and you can learn many things outside of the classroom. College was, for me, the best time of my life up to that point. However, it may not be worth 75,000$ in debt to some people, especially if your degree is viewed as useless by society.

Speaking of society, like I said I blame them as well. Society fed high schoolers a lie that you needed to go to college in order to be successful. Colleges of course bought into that lie because it fattened their wallets. Make no mistake-colleges claim to care about the student and social justice, but in reality, all they care about is money. Society is swinging back to normalcy now, saying that college might not be for everyone now.

Don't get me wrong, education is a generally a good thing and religions that dismiss a college education are afraid of what the students might learn because it threatens their hold on them. All that is 100% true, but loading yourself up with heavy student loan debt is something that needs to taken very seriously.

Scripture Sunday update

Spectrum is playing games, so there will be no Scripture Sunday this weekend. Hope you are having a wonderful weekend! 

Album of the weekend

The Beatles-Please Please Me

The Beatles are many things, but in a way they are two bands. Their style evolved slowly, from a a traditional sound at the time to the more experimental sound of the White Album, Revolver, and Sgt Pepper. Please Please Me was one of their earlier albums, full of absolutely fantastic songs like "I Saw Her Standing There", the title track "Please Please Me" and "Twist and Shout".

Not many bands can say that they changed everything, but The Beatles did just that. This is one of their best albums-and that is truly saying something. 

Prager University II

As mentioned before, I deeply admire Dennis Prager and I used to listen to him frequently. In fact, if you want to know about conservatism and don't know where to begin, watch Prager University videos for free on Youtube. You don't have to agree with him but if you don't understand the other sides view, you don't understand you own.

Recently Prager University has claimed that YouTube and Google have been censoring their videos. I'm sympathetic to the argument, after all I do think there is a slight liberal bias in mainstream society-a bias that is skeptical towards conservative/libertarian ideas and quick to embrace liberal ideas. However on this issue, I'm not sure social media sites and search engines are censoring Prager University. Prager U has millions and millions of views. If they are censoring them, they are doing a horrible job.

Womens soccer team

Okay, I know I said it a few months ago, but I'm going to be blunt again. Very, very few people actually care about the US female soccer team, and they don't make a lot of money. That's why they aren't paid as much as the mens team. No, it's not anti woman to say that. No, it doesn't mean that I'm against women playing sports. It also doesn't mean that I think they aren't amazing athletes, capable of great skill. It simply means that since they don't generate the same revenue as the mens team, they aren't paid the same way. 

In a free market, you generally get paid what you are worth. Just because you think you are worth millions doesn't mean society will agree with you. When I mention "worth" I don't mean spiritual or moral worth. Yes, we all know that a bus driver is probably far more moral than a doctor sleeping with a nurse while married or a businesswoman embezzling funds to support a cocaine addiction. However the skills offered to the market that a bus driver possesses aren't worth as much as those held by a doctor or yes, a female soccer team. 

The brutal truth is that female sports don't appeal to as many people as mens sports do. No, that's not rude or nasty of me to say that. It's a truth. And oh yeah, I love womens volleyball and am a season ticket holder to the Gators team. So in my dream world, there would be equal pay. But government forcing equal pay is another horrible idea.  

Sarah Silverman

I think Sarah Silverman is a disgusting person. Sure, it might just be her act, but I have a feeling that the camera doesn't lie in this case. She recently lost a job because she appeared in blackface once. She seems to understand and accept this, but according to to a podcast interview, she is troubled by the fact that we live in a virtue signaling culture where people love to show off how righteous they are. You'll never hear me say this again, but she's right.

First off, appearing in blackface is a stupid thing to do. When I was in high school we preformed the play The Crucible. A good friend of mine played Tituba and did it in blackface. Even back then, twenty years ago, I thought it was a bad idea. If my friend runs for office one day I hope no one finds our high school yearbooks. 

I used to think that people like Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel (who yes, appeared in blackface too) wouldn't suffer the consequences of it because they are very open with their liberalism and political correctness. Silverman lost a job, and Kimmel still has his. I'm sure if he breaks from leftist orthodoxy on any issue that'll be brought up and he'll be fired. Welcome to 2019.

Speaking of 2019, both the right and the left engage in this self righteous attitude. It's obnoxious. The left loves to virtue signal with things like this, the right loves to virtue signal when a movie has foul language or someone engages in "immoral behavior." The hard right and hard left are the exact same, it's just the starting point that is different.

Sarah Silverman won't really suffer from this. It's a temporary blip, she's apologized, and she's talked her way out of it. Saying she was "attacking racism by using racism." The good news is that she seems to have at least maybe questioned the leftist hold on our culture today. That's the best we can hope for in her case.

School is back

School is back, it starts early here compared to the rest of the country. For many of us, high school was a miserable four year experience that could not end fast enough. For those of you in the same boat take heart-it gets better.  This is not a scientific experiment and it's not a fact, but I've noticed that people who have great high school experiences generally have poor college experiences. I think the opposite is true too. College was among the best time of my life (aside from the present) while high school was easily the worst.

Who we are and what we did in high school doesn't matter at all in the real world. You are told that your teachers are there to inspire and instruct you. I'm sure that happens sometimes. But in reality, they are also there to babysit you. You are too young to get a job or go to college, so society doesn't know what to do with you yet. You won't remember much of what they teach you, and in reality it's somewhat pointless. So if you are enjoying the experience, good. Hope it works out for you. Get ready for the real world. If it's a miserable experience, stay strong, it gets better, and it'll over be soon. 

Scripture Sunday 1 Nephi 10:17

Is faith a choice?

To some degree, I think it is. You have to be humble enough to accept things that may not make sense to you. For some people I know how impossible that is and I'm not sure you can just dismiss them as too vain or arrogant. In fact, it's not arrogant to say that you aren't sure that there is a God, and it's a little arrogant to claim that you know there is one. This isn't an argument for atheism or agnosticism, it's an argument for being fair and reasonable.

I hate people

This might be among the most popular sayings I've ever seen. Normally it's posted when someone has a bad day or when someone is having a temper tantrum, but if you have bad days every day and have temper tantrums every day, than the problem is on you, not "people." I think it's a juvenile and ridiculous statement, and I'm here to tell you: if you "hate people", don't expect them to love you back. 

First off, when you say you hate people you show your mindset. Clearly you are angry and unpleasant-no one would say they hate people if they were otherwise. Next, by saying you hate people it gives "people" the right to hate you back. Remember that idiot in high school who said they "didn't care what others think."? Yeah, if they don't care, neither do we. And if you hate people, expect to get treated the same way back. 

People are capable of great evil, and great love. Instead of focusing on the negativity, it might be best to focus on the positive aspects of humanity. 

Update

For the past two weeks, we've had an exchange student living with us. This is me in my Tae Kwan Do uniform and him playing on his phone. We were at the TKD studio when this was taken. Simply put, I've been too busy with him to do an album of the weekend. It'll be back next week with a vengeance .

Happy weekend everyone. 

Dane Cook

Remember him? I haven't thought of him in decades, but since he was the popular comedian when my brother in law was growing up, we got to talking about him recently. My brother in law is about 8 years younger than me, and when he was growing up he had a Dane Cook comedy album. He's actually ashamed of himself for this now as an adult.

I can see why. I listened to this Youtube video. In fairness, people are laughing, and just because I don't think he's funny doesn't mean no one does. Like I said, people are laughing. Maybe it's just me but I noticed he doesn't have punchlines. He's just telling what he thinks are funny stories. Dennis Miller, a comedian I loved both when he was a liberal and now, told stories too, but he had punchlines at the end. I don't see that with Dane Cook.

Florida Marlins vs Tampa Rays

After sweeping the series last week, the Rays and Marlins got into a funny little Twitter war. The Marlins tweeted back "You are literally the animal that killed Steve Irwin." And of course, they had to apologize because thin skinned babies got offended. If you are "offended" by this, you aren't. You are either grossly misunderstood the Tweet or you are just trying to get attention.

Commentators could write about people getting offended too easily in our culture and nothing will change. In fact, it'll only get worse. Getting offended by things is a sport. It makes us feel holy, righteous, gives us attention, etc. This wasn't even an insult to Steve Irwin-it was a harmless joke on Twitter. I am stunned that people are claiming to be offended by this.

R Rated movies

Generally speaking, I think the reputation of religious people being overly censorious is not correct. Most of the religious people I know can separate content from the "big picture". For example, they'll know that Schindler's List is rated R and has some objectionable content to it, but they'll see the larger scope and watch it because of the historical impact. It's the same with the Passion of the Christ. They may not like the violence but they'll understand that what the movie is trying to convey is much, much more important than the violence and they'll be able to get past it.

We all know that teaching that LDS are cautioned to not watch R rated movies. That's fine, and of course the caution of the apostles should always be taken into consideration. However, not all R rated movies are created equal. I've mentioned two that come to mind, but I'm sure there are others.

Of course, you have every right to forbid your own children from watching anything they want to, and you, of course, don't have to watch anything you don't like. But I'm always deeply troubled by people who can't see the forest from trees. They'll complain that millennials don't understand history-then ban them from reading history or watching any movie that shows it. They'll complain that people view them as sheltered-then not engage in society because they find it immoral in too many ways. Sadly, I think some religious people can't comprehend "the big picture" and end up shooting themselves in the foot.

Vinnie Vincent birthday bash

I love train wrecks, and Vinnie Vincent is my favorite train wreck. His latest scheme, er, event, is where some lucky fans get to celebrate his birthday. Oddly, Vinnie has stomped his feet and said that because of the negativity online he might go back into reclusion. Vinnie, no one cares if you go back into seclusion. Imagine a car dealer telling you that you can't buy a car you had no desire to buy in the first place. That's Vinnie Vincent.

For 300$ you can hang out with Vinnie. Apparently someone tried to buy a ticket to it recently and got no response. No surprise there. At this point, I feel no sympathy for Vinnie, and no sympathy for those idiots buying the tickets. We are all human and we all mistakes. But buying a ticket to this "event" and thinking it'll happen makes you a fool.

Scripture Sunday 3 Nephi 18:31

Excommunication is not a pleasant thing to think about. Or discuss. It's often viewed as a vindictive punishment, and while it's true, it is a punishment, if it's used properly it isn't vindictive. In fact, if it's used with love (and yes, I admit the love aspect is often forgotten) it's restorative. Whatever excommunication is, it's a warning to get back in Gods good graces. I've never understood people who are in open apostasy from the church and complain about being excommunicated. If you don't agree with the church teachings-why not just resign?

This passage reminds us that excommunication has a basis in scripture. Clearly, it says that "if He repent not he will not be numbered among my people." The key word is "repent." I'm not sure how the excommunication process works. Amazingly, I haven't ben threatened with it yet. But you should be given every chance out there to repent, and if you still don't wish to do that, than the church doesn't seem to have a choice.

Mario Lopez

Mario Lopez, eternally known to everyone as AC Slater, made some politically incorrect comments about transgenderism. HIs comments are irrelevant to me, so much so that I don't even remember them and don't care enough to Google them to find out what he said. However, his apology and groveling to the politically correct elite fascinates me, even though I understand why he did it.

Obviously, his unpc comments are how he really feels. He was stupid to mention it though, he should have just danced around the subject or flat out lied. Since he works in Hollywood (does he still get work?), the most intolerant place in the planet outside of a few college towns, any thought that isn't shared by 99% of everyone else is immediately deemed heresy and shot down. Fundamentalist preachers burning books don't react with the same zeal as Hollywood does when they detect someone who can think for themselves.

I haven't really thought much about Mario Lopez lately. I won't think about him anymore, after this post. I don't think I feel sorry for him though. He should have known better.

Album of the weekend

Elvis Presley-Elvis Presley

Before anyone did anything, Elvis basically did everything. That's on the back of one of his greatest hits albums and it's exactly right. His voice alone makes virtually anything he sings worth a second listen-God does not grant that voice to many mortals. His debut album was what I choose for him but really, most of his albums are worth buying. Yes, there are exceptions.

You've heard these songs before. In fact if you haven't you've made a concerted effort to ignore some of the most popular songs ever recorded. I'm not going to recommend what songs to download, because virtually all of them are spectacular. There is a reason he's called the king of rock. 

Medical Marijuana and Gun rights

Apparently, Florida Medical Marijuana users can't legally buy guns or own guns.  Before you say that's a good idea, we don't want stoners carrying guns, let's talk about this.

Like it or not, you have the right to own a gun in this country, just like you have the right to an abortion. In fact, the right to own a gun, regardless of what you might have been told, is crystal clear in the constitution. The right to an abortion (which, by the way, I'm in favor of) is a bit more murky. No where in the constitution does it say that you can't own a gun if you smoke weed. Or if you drink whiskey. So, barring medical marijuana users from owning a gun is a violation of their rights.

Oddly, gun rights are the only rights that are banned. Why don't we ban their right to free speech? Or their right to free association? Or their right to whatever religion they choose to participate in? Because guns are scary, and they most scary to those who have never used one. We often hear "If you don't have a uterus, shut your mouth on abortion." Guess what? I sort of agree with that. Well, if you don't own a gun, don't restrict my right to own one. Even if I choose to smoke weed.