This is a for a very ,very good friend of mine who brought up a three hour conversation.I dedicate this blog to her and her husband. Two amazing people. I am humbled they call me friends. It's for them, and all of us who feel the same way.
Caveat (a statement made to cover my ass)-if you have childhood friends that you are still in contact with as an adult, great. Good for you. Not all of us are like that.
As we get older, we often times feel guilt about losing childhood/high school/college friends. I've seen people beat themselves up about it. It's heartbreaking. I want to give them a giant hug and just say "Girl or boy, you are wonderful and loved."
The same thing happened to me. When I was dating and got married, I focused all my energy on whoever I was dating at the expense of friendships. We tended to hang out together and not in large groups. Not a complaint, many couples did the same thing.
I also tried to hang on to my friends I made in high school and childhood, because well, wasn't that what everyone else did? After all, all my life people told me that childhood and high school was the "best time of my life" and the "friends made during this time will be lifelong friends".
I am here to tell you, they are lying.
Your spouse should be your best friend. It is my sincere hope to you that they are. If not, I'll say a prayer for you and I mean that.
Bart Simpson once said that Milhouse was his best friend "out of convenience". He was right. We are friends with people in our small towns because of a lack of options. We just don't know that many people.
For most of us, college is where we find our true friends. But getting married and having kids can change that too. I understand that, once we have kids they should be your priority in life. You should do what you can to hang on to your college friends, but if they keep telling by their actions they are not interested in your friendship, it truly is their loss. You shouldn't waste your precious emotional resources worrying about people who have made it clear they don't care about you.
It is NOT your fault that people lose contact with you. It is their loss-it took me years to understand and accept this. If I could tell a young person one thing and make them listen (aside from Christ being the Savior) I would tell them not to feel guilty about this. You reading this are far more wonderful than you think you are, and you deserve to be treated as such.
No comments:
Post a Comment