CS Lewis called himself "the most dejected convert in England" at the time of his conversion.
I empathize with him completely.
Upfront-No, I'm not comparing myself to CS Lewis. But I am.
Both him and I had a strong sense that our bodies/soul belongs to me. CS Lewis didn't want to submit any control to another being, especially a God which at that point he didn't even thought existed.
With me-I didn't want to become LDS because I knew I would have to give up an immoral lifestyle. I'm not going to bore you with my own sins, but I'm not going to lie either. It's enjoyable to lead a sex, drugs, and rock and roll lifestyle, at least at first.
Eventually though, being the sober one in the room made me realize how stupid and shallow that lifestyle was. Before you know it, you'll end up with a serious drug addiction and your sexual behavior will cause unimaginable pain to the people you love.
The worst part about that lifestyle is that in the end, you are only hurting yourself. Not to mention you'll have guilt that never goes away.
One of the best things about Mormonism and Christianity is general is you can make a disaster of yourself and your life then give the pieces to Christ to fix.
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